“I have to say, shopping for costumes as a girl is pretty hard.”
A friend of mine said that to me earlier this month. I don’t remember the context, but it was apparently a revelation for him.
What he’s referring to is the apparent lack of any legitimate women’s costumes in retail. Oh, sure, they’re still out there, but if you’re someone who keeps up with Halloween trends at all, I don’t have to tell you about this whole “cute” bullshit.
Why is that bullshit? Google any sort of costume with the word “cute.” I went for “cute witch costume,” “cute red riding hood costume,” and “cute angel costume.” Can you guess what the results looked like? Yep, a mix of adorable (legitimately cute) little girl/baby costumes mixed with a good dose of revealing adult versions. Corsets, lace, stockings, short skirts, high heels…
How brainwashed have we become, as a consumer group? I wish it was just a bunch of guys out there catering to other men who are trying to find sexy costumes for girlfriends and wives. Not so. I’ve talked to enough girls out there to realize that women also buy into this crap.
“I’m looking for a cute (insert classic character) outfit.”
Let me tell you: when someone says “cute,” they don’t actually mean cute. They mean adult, revealing, and porno-esque. That’s not me trying to exaggerate, either. Ever seen porn with actual narratives? Red Riding Hood, the maid, nurse, etc. is usually dressed like those models showing off Halloween inventory.
The revealing nature of the attire isn’t the issue for me, though. If a woman wants to dress a certain way, then let her. Who doesn’t want to look sexy now and then? But DO NOT pretend it isn’t meant to be sexual. DO NOT label it as a “cute” and wind up falling into this marketing charade.
I think I go through this same damn episode every Halloween, but I haven’t been this irritated in some time about the subject. What really set me off, I think, was this splash art for a new League of Legends skin.
That’s “Officer Vi,” if you didn’t know. The woman in the back holding a pastry box is her partner Caitlyn, who is wearing an “Officer Caitlyn” outfit that was released some time earlier. Neither is exactly indicative of their actual personalities; Vi is a tough gal who built herself a set of powerful mechanical gloves to smash faces with, and Caitlyn is a no-nonsense kind of detective.
Whenever Riot labels a skin “Officer,” I think it’s safe for us to assume they mean “stripper.” No, these outfits are not cute, despite what the lady gamers will tell themselves when they drop money on Officer Vi. Fucking look at her. How is that, in any legitimate way, cute? She’s got her breasts spilling out of her top, and it doesn’t even reach her damn waist. And those platform heels look like they’re taller than this soda can on my desk. Poor woman probably tried running in those, which might explain why her leg looks like it was twisted until it snapped free from her pelvis.
Dear God, Riot, WHY? Officer Vi, Officer Caitlyn, Battle Bunny Riven, Kitty Cat Katarina…
I can’t even…